About Alpha Barbie

Alpha Barbie is a conservative, Christian, single mom who enjoys yelling at news anchors, throwing things away, and laughing with her children (and sometimes hiding from them). She nerds out on nutrition and history, and currently lives in San Diego where she’s seriously considering taking up drinking.

These are the moments that make up my life. From the profound, serious lessons learned in trials, to the utterly ridiculous, these things about which I write are the moments that have encouraged me, made me laugh, kept me from giving up, and ultimately shaped me into the warped vessel of humor that is Alpha Barbie, although most people call me Kate.

If you would like to contact Alpha Barbie, please fill out the form and some very opinionated woman will get back to you.

Here are some good reasons that you might want to contact Alpha Barbie:

• You would like to respectfully ask a legitimate question and open up a fair and intelligent dialogue.
• You would like to inquire about being a guest writer on the Alpha Barbie site.
• You are interested in advertising on the Alpha Barbie site and would like a rate sheet.

Here are some other reasons that you might want to contact Alpha Barbie:

• You want to spew venom.
• You want another conservative woman to hate.
• You need a friend.

It is the belief here at Alpha Barbie that if your contact request falls into the latter category, you don’t need our help at all. We are confident that you can successfully navigate your hate and friendlessness without us.

If on the other hand, your contact request falls into the first category, we would be delighted to hear from you.