Crying Into My Egg Salad Sandwich
Me: Hey, girls…tomorrow.
Them: What about it?
Me: I’m trying to tell you. I’m getting an MRI and then I have a date so I’ll probably go straight there.
Charlie: Well that sounds like a normal day. (Huh?) Start off with an MRI scan, then you forget to take off your hospital gown when you leave. You show up for your date, your date leaves because of your attire, and so you’re stuck at the restaurant in the hospital gown eating egg salad sandwich crying your heart out because they ran out of ice cream.
Both girls: *hysterical laughter*
Me: *stares at children as if they’ve lost their minds* That……is never going to happen. And I don’t even like ice cream.
Charlie: Just keep telling yourself that.
*crickets chirping*
Me: My point was you’re hanging out with Aunt Deb and she’ll probably order a pizza. You’re welcome, you weirdos.
Them: Oh yay!